The Truth About Jim West

Well known peddler of Dead Sea paraphernalia, Jim West, was spotted manning the kiosk of his new company Dead Sea Spa. When asked why he made the daring move from Baptist pastor to mall kiosk seller, West replied, “I was reprimanded by the area Baptist association for slapping candy out of the hands of slightly overweight children, and I’d had enough. Those reprobate parents and their depraved counterparts in the association have gone soft. I thought it might be time for a new venture.” West’s new position has meant a surge in postings on his blog jumping from an average of 115 postings a day to nearly 500. “You know, I’ve always wanted to join in on twitter, but I never had time before now. I don’t know how I ever lived without it.” West continued to extol the virtues of the microblogging service for some time until he concluded with a tear in his eye, “You know, I think Zwingli himself would have loved to have a tool such as this.” West’s move to the mall hasn’t been without controversy. He was cited by local police for having an unlicensed fire in city limits after fellow mall employees caught him burning copies of Biblical Archeology Review while muttering under his breath “Take that James son of Joseph brother of Jesus.”

  3 comments for “The Truth About Jim West

  1. September 10, 2010 at 8:11 am

    “You know, I think Zwingli himself would have loved to have a tool such as this.”

    So True!

  2. Jim
    September 10, 2010 at 8:43 am

    that’s so utterly fantastic that you’ve earned yourself a permanent place on the blogroll.

    such wit deserves to be rewarded (or punished, depending on your perspective i suppose).

    well done- really funny!

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